Older and Far Away
by charmedangel025
Summary: Sequal to Addicted and Memory Lane. The rewrite. MalandNivia are trying desperately to fix things but she is still completely submersed in the past. Can they pull themselves together before the upcoming war with the Alliance rips them apart again. Pre BDM
1. Not the samealways different

Older and Far Away.

Chapter 1: Not The Same, Always Different

**Rating: PG-13**

**Disclaimer: If I said I owned them, I lied.**

**Author's Note: Ok. Here we are. This is the brand new version of this one. I hope that it will be more exciting then the first one. This is the sequel to "Addicted" and "Memory Lane." So, you might want to read those first, or you _might_ be confused. **

**Enjoy!!! And tell me what you think!**

He watched her as she pulled her long, blonde hair back into a tight ponytail. Even in doing that, she moved so gracefully. Malcolm Reynolds remembered they days when she would let it fall free, over her shoulders, in a cascade of blonde locks. But not these days. Hiding her hair was Nivia Reynolds' way of hiding from the world. This way, she went unnoticed, and she was free to glide right past Mal, pretending that he didn't see her, or that he would stop to bask in her beauty.

"Stop ogling." She said with a light smile as she pulled her sleeves down around her wrists and turned around. "I wasn't _ogling._" He said, walking to the counter to pull a cup off of the shelf. Nivia didn't say anything, she just took a few steps away from him to give him room to get to his beloved coffee.They stood there for a long time before Nivia turned and said, "I'll go check on River. I heard her thrashing around last night." She began to exit the kitchen when Mal said, softly,

"Niv..."

"Mal... just don't." And then she left.

"You never give me a chance to even start." Mal said, trying desperately not to sound cold.

"Because it's pointless to." Nivia said, trying to walk away as fast as her long legs would carry her.

"Then why are you even still here?" Mal called after her. He didn't hear her answer with,

"Thats a good question."

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When Nivia reached River's quarters, she didn't have a chance to knock before River said, "Come in." Nivia slid the door open, stepped inside the small room, then slid the door shut again.

"I came to see about your night last night." Nivia explained.

"Dreams. They float inside my head." River said, looking off into space.

"Wanna tell me about them?" Nivia asked.

"You don't seek my dreams," River said, starring thoughtlessly into Nivia's sad, gray eyes. "You seek the voices in my head. You want to know what his brain screams every time you walk by."

Nivia looked away. Was River right? Was that really what she wanted to know?

"His mind, and his body... they scream for you." River explained. Nivia looked deeply into River, trying to read her sole. "He wonders why you push him away," River went on to say, "Wonders what he did wrong, why you don't want him anymore. But you do... don't you?" Nivia opened her mouth to answer, but River cut her off, as she continued on her rant. "He doesn't understand..."

"Doesn't understand? What doesn't Mal understand, River?" Nivia asked.

"That nothings ever the same. That things are always different. Nothing stays the same."

Then, River looked like she had lost all interest in what she had been talking about. She sat there, starring at the air until she muttered, "Still wears the ring... different place... never the same... always different..."

Nivia watched her for a few moments, then decided it was pointless to sit there, staring at her as she combed through the minds of the others on _Serenity_. She got up, and left the suffocating room, rivers words ringing in her head.

"_Never the same... Always different... Never the same... Always different._"


	2. Stuck in the past 1 of many

Older and Far Away.

Chapter 2: Stuck in the past (Part one of many)

**Rating: PG-13**

**Disclaimer: If I said I owned them, I lied.**

"_Never the same... Always different... Never the same... Always different._"

River's words ran through Nivia's confused head as she walked down the dark corridors of _Serenity_. The walls sang to her all the songs of her memories. That ship had been their dream. They were supposed to lift off from Shadow and never go back. Nivia and Mal had thought that leaving Shadow and what was left of her families home behind was the best way for Nivia to get over everything that had happened. The destruction of her family had been devastating to both of them. All Mal had ever had was his mother, so Nivia's large family had become his own. But then, Nivia had become terrified of what was out there. The last time she had left Shadow via spacecraft, she had been going to war. She knew that she was leaving, and never coming back to her family, because they were dead and buried in the rubble that had once been her childhood home. What else would change after she was gone? Who else would die? She was scared of everything changing so fast, like it had. So, she let Mal go into space without her. A decision she would always regret.

She found her way down the the hold, where she found Zoe was hauling the latest pieces of cargo into the smuggler's hold. "Zoe, do you have a free minuet?"

"Not really, but I do notice that you have two free hands." Zoe flashed her a warm smile, which she returned. Nvia went over to the pile of cargo and began handing it to Zoe, who transferred it into the hold. After they had finished and Nivia had explained that her and Mal were having deeper problems then everyone thought, they sat down on the steps. "I know it ain't easy," Zoe told her, "But you gotta talk to him. Don't be scared. He's just Mal. He might have changed, but you can still tell him anything. He'll be honest with ya."

"I just... I don't really know how to let him in anymore."

"Maybe that's because you don't try."

Nivia was silent. Zoe was right. Mal would be honest, and Nivia didn't try. Mainly because they went hand in hand. Nivia was afraid that Mal would be honest, too honest, and say something that Nivia wasn't ready to hear. So, that's exactly what she said.

"I guess I"m just afraid that he'll say something that I'm just not ready to hear."

"It ain't that you're not _ready_. It's that you don't _want_ to hear it."

Again Nivia was silent. "Just give it a try. He might surprise you." And then, Zoe got up to leave. Once she was up on the catwalk, she said, "Don't be so stuck in the past, Niv. I know what happened was terrible. But, one day, it won't cut so deep." Nivia stayed seated, and wished for that day to come just a little bit sooner.


End file.
